The bad chat up lines are the chat up lines that we think are least likely to succeed. They are either old and tired, lame, not the kind of thing that you’d say to someone without a gallon or 2 of ale down your neck, and are unlikely to succeed - then again, it depends on how much he or she has poured down their necks too!
Bad Chat up Lines
If you have any bad chat up lines, the kind of chat up lines that have either got you laughed at or blown out before you’d even ignited, then do us all a favour and share them here so we can have a good laugh at you too!
- The really quite bad, don’t do them ever chat up lines:
My friend thinks you’re hot, and if it’s any consolation so do I.
You looked bored so I thought I’d cheer you up…(followed by a joke)
Grin shyly and say “you look stunning tonight” and then walk away.
Do you know any good opening lines?
I think you’re the light at the end of my tunnel.
Excuse me, do you have change for a thousand pound note?
Grab her on the bum and ask, “Excuse me, is this seat taken?”
I wish you were a drum so I could bang you all day long.
I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
Nice legs… What time do they open?
My name is (insert your name). Remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Are you a seargeant? Because you make my privates stand to attention.
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
Are you gay? (no) prove it
Are you Jamaican? [No, why?] Cause ja-maic-in me crazy.
You must be a broom because you just swept me off my feet
Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Didn’t I used to always pull on your ponytail in school?
Do you fancy a dance? ‘no’ - I suppose a shag’s out of the question then?
Do you wanna be the lord of my ring?
Do you work for the royal mail, only you’ve been checking out my package all night.
Excuse me but are you a vet? No…why? Well its just that my Beaver needs the kiss of life.
Grab your coat, you’ve pulled!
Hey babe sit on my knee and talk about the first thing that comes into your head
Hey girl you dropped something. ‘What?’ - My jaw
Hi – your face or mine?
Hi, do you have a boyfriend? No? Are you taking applications?
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down - go ahead say no.
How do you like your eggs in the morning? scrambled , fried or fertilised?
How much does a polar bear weigh? Well its enough to break the ice, my name is….
I bet you £20 you’re going to turn me down.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
If we were both squirrels i would definately store my nuts in your hole
If you were a lolly I would be licking you all night!
Im a bit scared on my own do you think you can walk me home?
I’m like Domino’s Pizza, if you don’t come in 30 minutes the next one is free.
Im looking for a red hot lover
I’m new in town, could I have directions to your appartment.
I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m looking for an experience.
I’m not the best looking guy in here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Is your dad an alien because you’re out of this World.
Is your name Loreal, cause you’re worth it
I’ve got a new bed, want to see if we can make it squeak?
Lets have sex
Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I’m nice.
Nice hat, may I see your helmet
Oops, my suspender came undone; Would you mind?
Are Your legs tired, Cause you’ve been running through my mind all day
Sex is like art, the more you practice, the better you get!
So, do you live round here or are you local?
Sorry boys the only thing i blow is kisses
That shirt is very becoming on you … saying that, if I were on you I’d be coming too
That’s a really nice outfit, but it would look better on my bed room floor
There is something wrong with my mobile phone. It doesn’t seem to have your number in it.
Those tits look heavy can I hold them for you
You must be a parking ticket cause you got the word FINE written all over you!
You must be a light switch cause you’re turning me on
You’re really cute, I’d like to go out with you sometime
We’ve only just met, but can I say, ‘I’m in love with your bum.’
Well It’s not just going to suck itself, is it?
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
What would you do if I kissed you right now?
Whats your name? How old are you? Fancy a shag?
What’s your favourite colour?
When I’m good, I’m good, but when I’m bad, I’m better!
Would you like to dance?
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
You forgot something! What? Me!
You know sweetie, my lips won’t just kiss themselves.
You look like my first wife “Really? How many times have you been married?” “Oh I’m still a bachelor”
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
You must work in subway because you just gave me a footlong
You’re so pretty, I had to come over and say ‘hi’.
Your initials must be TNT, cause your the bomb
You’re just like a parking ticket - you’ve got ‘Fine’ written all over you!
You’re like Pringles. Once you pop, I just can’t stop!
You’ve got big feet
I just got this new lipgloss, would you tell me how good it tastes?
Add your own Chat Up Lines Here!
